when i've been staring at the computer screen for a while doing nearly fruitless research, or i have to stay up till eleven-thirty doing prep for various things, or i'm so sleep-deprived that i'm deranged and a bit hallucinatory, i wonder why? i'm not totally sure what the point of the work is, other than specific short-term goals that seem to be pointless and only for the purpose of conforming. sometimes i get so tired that i stop caring about run-on sentences correct uses of clauses and "that"s and "and"s and i just want to crawl onto a mountain and sleep like a god.
but oh, well.
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