great moments in the city

a bunch of guys in stained white t-shirts using wrenches to spray tourists on the top of a double-decker bus with a fire hydrant, while another guy bikes up next to the bus and jeers.

the airing of grievances

don't want to be a downer, but the only thing i really have to say right now is what i'm upset about:

i don't like the 21st century. even though, as a young person, it's almost the only time i've ever know, i don't like it. my main problem with it is this: we have stop creating culture and started creating technology. take the music industry, for example. look at what the twentieth century invented:
ragtime, jazz, cheery showtunes, rock n' roll, rhythm & blues, blues, country, rock, psychedelic, punk, disco, techno, grunge, rap, and probably a hundred other that i'm not mentioning. albums were invented.
then look at what the twenty-first century has invented:
nothing.
we are so busy making devices to play music on, that we aren't making real music. that's not to say that there aren't great musicians out there, because i know for a fact there are. what i'm saying is that there isn't a scene, there isn't a new sound. the only thing we seem to be doing on a widespread basis is making pop charts songs which disappear after a few years.

there is no artistic movement. photography has disintegrated from an art form to something people do with their tiny, slim, computer-controlled cameras at concerts or on vacation. kodak has stopped producing kodachrome.
movies have sunk to the level that if we come out with one good one every year, we're totally amazed. although, i can't say that there aren't good movies coming out, because there are. but there have only been like, five.
probably you don't live in new york, but i do, and let me tell you-broadway is a mess. the good shows sell out very quickly, and the new shows are all basically musical versions of movies that were popular or something like that. at least 65% of all broadway shows are disney.
at least we've got politics, though. there's plenty of that around.

brothers and sisters, sisters and brothers, ain't we everyone?

so, i was lying on the grass two days ago, trying to figure out a way to celebrate solstice. my big, butterfly-sleeved shirt spread out on the green in a circle around me. i was looking up at the sky and at the leaves gently fanning around it, and i remembered something i had read in a book of greek mythology. you see, in the greek stories, the earth, Gaia, is seen as the mother of all things and the sky is the father. in the beginning, there were just the two of them, and then they had all these children and they formed different species and races, etc. so i was lying there and i thought, if the sky and the earth are our great parents, then aren't we all brothers and sisters? not just all people, but all living, and non-living things. when the earth began, there was only fire and stardust, and we all came out of that. so aren't we all just siblings? right now, the human race is treating the earth, its family, as sort of a novelty to be toyed with as a resource for the Great Cause, making money. this is just about the stupidest thing i have ever heard. once we realize that we are all connected, that we are all a family who live under the same roof (the atmosphere) we will realize how stupid our way of life is and drop it all. but when?

extracts from my third grade notebook

Dear note-book,
I AM in a lot of problems. a SEA of Problems in fact. I have as much reason to fear my father as the humans do. True, I can tell them what they need to know, but I'm worried about [my real name], what if she's not doing good?
-[i sign this with the name of my alter-ego, who's name was my name backwards.]


IN PENNIES WE TRUST I WANT YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR PENNIES!!!


[this is a list of a series of characters i was inventing for a tv show, and what they wore. the girls were superheroes who doubled as race-car drivers, apparently. the show was called: punk-rock super 12 year old girls]
-White Lightning. Absolutely white hair, REALLY bright aqua blue contacts, Absolutely white Jeans and matching Jean shirt with Glow-in-the-dark lightning bolts on them. white car with glow in the dark 1 on the side.
-Red Fire. hair died [dyed] blood red, shiny red hoop earrings, red vinal [vinyl] long-sleeved belly top, red vinal bellbottom pants, high red vinal boots. Reeally Reeeellly red car light up 3 on the side.
-Lioness. Orangish brown hair, Purple contacts, origish [orangish] brownish velvet string sleeved belly top, maching bell-bottom pants, maching sandles.
-Silver-Rain. Rainbow-shine-silver-hoop-earings, silver tank-tops, long rainbow pants, rainbow and silver high boots. princess of all of them.
-Black Velvet. hoop earings covered in black velvet+blak velvet tanktop that looks like this: [picture], black velvet bellbottompants, high boots covered in black velvet.
-Pinkie. Pink metal hoop earings, pink silk tank top and pants.
-Gold ember. redish, goldish, glowing hair with black streaks. red Jeans and tank-top with gold and black sparkles. Gold car. mirrorored [mirrored] gold 5 on the side.
-Gold Sunshine. long gold hair down to her butt, bright gold eyes, gold tank-top, white Jeans with sparkles.
-Black Smoke. black hair, dark skin, black sute [suit] with white belt with a black BS on it. black contacts. Black glossy car foggy-looking glittery 6 on the side.
-Green vine. green smoth [smooth] hair, dark green eyes, jeans with real small emeralds, green tank-tops with no sleeves. Dark green car. shiny 7 on the side. [i made the 7 look like a vine.]


George Bush is a Bad President
1. he isn't doing anything good for the schools:
1. he made a law called "no child left behind" it's the 3rd grade test. It isn't a good law, and he's not funding it.
2. People had to complain a LOT for him to fund schools.
2.He Tells Too Many LIES!!!
1, He lied when he said that we have a lot of fancy, nucler, and powerful weapons, we didn't, but he told us we did, and went to war anyway.
2. he lied when he said that Iraq bombed the Twin Towers, just because they might, might, might, and might, have tried to kill his dad Bush SR.
He's Doing too much War Stuff.


We had just found out the new SCR (student consel [council] represenetive). and [name withheld] was the only happy person in the room. I'm going to give you a list of some girls and what they were doing.
[name withheld]: had locked herself in the closet and was crying.
[name withheld]: crying and coming up with as many complaints as posibel.[possible]
[name withheld]: crying and trying to find a place to hide.
You get it. they People were upset. very upset.Me? I had written "Be Happy" on each of one of a wholle post-it notebook, and was sticking them around the room. Then, I went around trying to make people feel better. We were being so nice that the teacher canceled a period just so we could cheer eachother up! during T.G.I.F I made a sign:
new Rules:
No:
crying, saying everybody hates you, or red eyes.
You MUST:
smile, laugh, and have fun.
nowadays, no one (except ocasonally [name withheld, the kid who got elected]) talks about student concoul representitive.) [the following is crossed out:]
this writer thinks that just because not everyone wante you to have a certin job, dse not mean that everyone hates you.

analogy for a human brain

think think think whisper NO NO NO not that just breathe in out in out not so fast shhhhh don't think of that obey me obey obey turn lift life stop stop stop it!!! sigh heartbeat heartbeat beatbeatbeatbeat beat...beat...beat... panic blood racing whew slide move operate pulse throb work work work!!! death.

it is not about you.

it is about the things that you do. in a hundred years, people will not remember that you liked hot chocolate, or that you failed a test in the third grade. they will not remember your favorite song or your thoughts, your lovers or your clothes. most likely, they will not even remember your name. people do not especially care about other people-they care about events. and that is the way to make yourself remembered, through your actions. i forget her name, but there was a woman who spent her entire life as a washerwoman and a miser, living extremely cheaply, and then at thee end of her life she donated tens of thousands of dollars to charity. think about this logically: your personal comfort is mathematically less important than your good deeds, because it affects only you.

generosity and willingness to make sacrifices is not a "saintly" or "special" thing, but a necessity. it is the reason we are alive. well, not exactly. there is no reason we are alive. actually, the human race is a flaw in nature. only a single, middle-of-the-chain mammal, we ignore the ecosystem and decide that we are above everything else. but i digress-the only way to make up for our...sins, i suppose you could call them, is to improve the world, to strive to become the "paragon of animals". most creatures do not either help or hurt the earth, but simply exist in it. this is all very well for them, but humanity cannot exist this way. we insist that we are here for a greater purpose, a greater cause. we move forward. we cannot help it, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. to deny our struggles would be lying. what we must do instead is make sure that we are indeed moving toward something good, and not simply choosing what is convenient at the moment. that would be pointless and harmful. be careful.

you're right, mom. its kind of sick.

thats what my little brother said to my mother-he wanted to get one of those handheld thingamagigs with buttons and jumping dinosaurs and stars, and my mother said to him,
"look at that boy over there. does he even know that it's a nice day? does he even know that he's in the playground?"
"you're right, mom." he said. "its kind of sick."

i have figured out the thing that keeps people staring transfixed, looking at screens for hours on end (rather like you and i are doing right now.) we have made this marvelous invention-The Moving Thing. you see, if something before our eyes moves, and our eyes follow it, we don't have to go anywhere to feel as though we're doing something. the first example of a Moving Thing is a book. we can sit looking at a book and not moving for hours, because things are happening inside our heads. it is like dreaming. Moving Things are a sure sign of a Civilized Society (not an expression i use negatively or positively; only a state of being.), but they can look scary to someone not involved. if we, not seeing the screen or the page or hearing the music, see a person with their eyes open doing nothing, we are frightened. if seems like they are blank, dead. they are not. they are doing more than we are, with their minds. in creepy sci fi books and movies, the society is always converted entirely to Mind Motion-that is, doing things inside your head rather than outside. this frightens the reader/viewer because it feels like the society is full of dead, motionless people. on a certain level, this is true. The Moving Thing is a concept which had the potential to do great harm, but also the potential to do great good. we must find the balance between intellectual movement, physical movement, and emotional movement. only then, will we be truly alive.

pieces of you

so i was in a thrift shop, and since the people i was with were still trying on a bunch of things and i had picked out everything already, i started looking at the CDs. one particular CD struck my eye, and i wrote down its name. it's called *pieces of you*, by jewel. i'm not a big jewel fan myself, nor do i plan to listen to the album. but i just loved the cover. here it is:

penny for your thoughts.

i dont really have any grand theories to present right now, but there are a few mosquitos buzzing around my brain. here they are:
-i am in the process of tie-dyeing 83 pieces of recycled tshirt fabric to sew into a dress based off of the enterprise uniform, so right now our bathtub is full of yellow and purple dye. my brother asked my mother why he couldn't have a bath? and my mother said "because your sister is an artist." this made me very happy and proud.
-that last post was not fictional. i really am clowning.
-on the way home from school, i heard divine smooth jazz music coming from somewhere. at first i thought it was coming straight from heaven itself, but then i realized that it was floating up through the subway grates. i stood to listen for ten solid minutes, then went into the station just to pay the man. he wasn't at all like i pictured; white and slightly chubby, with a hipster goatee. on the way home, i sang joni mitchell's *for free*.
-people say that you can never be too careful, but you can. you really can.
-the idea of advice makes no sense. the only person's advice you should follow is your own, and this should be based on your experience, and in order to have that experience, you must not follow advice.
-this saturday, i went to a magical place in a great big wood. i live in a hustleconcretesteelwreckingball city of secrets and cloudy thursdays, and right in the middle, there is a forrest. not a park, not manmade at all, but an honest-to-goodness forrest made by nature herself. i hiked through it at night, and found the wizard in glasses. he was an astronomer with a huge telescope and people around him, and he showed me saturn and the twins and the moon. the moon looked just like a piece of soft clay that had been rained on. when i left, we all sang folk/campfire songs on the way back, and i remembered the original purpose of music.


none of this is metaphorical. its all true.