Saturday, July 18, 2009

i want to write this down before i forget

i want to document a feeling that children have, which i am rapidly forgetting and must not. it is the feeling of being undermined by what the grown-ups consider important-things like renovations and grocery shopping and tax returns-things that i could not comprehend and so they seemed pointless to me. i would show a grown-up a drawing that i had done, and they would gasp with totally fake admiration, which i saw right through, and then turn to the nearest adult and murmur something about verizon wireless or third cousins. it's a frustrating feeling, the feeling that your accomplishments are only minuscule acts and do not REALLY matter. what makes it even more confounding is that your parents' achievements and dilemmas and arguments seem just as unimportant and uninteresting to you. you have learned to draw a five-point star, who cares about invisible money? i am not saying that either children or adults are better, they are just very different-and forced to interact very intimately. neither really takes the other seriously, although they can love and admire each other. i am currently at an even more frustrating point where i know much of the stuff grown-ups know, and i am still not taken seriously. someday *i* will not take children seriously-and i am already beginning to. it is infuriating.

1 comment:

Mountain Spirit said...

yeah ik that sad feeling. Like how i was going to understand being a 5th grader forever, not never let being older destroy the feeling of what its like...?
That kind of became a fail pretty quickly.